Thursday, March 31, 2005

Y do i always need to write a title?

I never knew people read my blog....haven't really thought much bout updating it but what the heck...urm.. so, what's been goin on in my life, you wonder?N-O-T-H-I-N-G! happy Easter by the way for all christians.
I've actually felt i've wasted my time over the last 2-3 weeks.Yes, it was fun and all but i feel kinda bad when everyone else is so busy working hard andstudyin and all..maybe it's was due to easter n good friday cause i allways geet moody around those times.Too much reflection i guess over what i've been doing over the last year...
In truth as hard as i refuse to admit it, i don't really think i've settled in ppktj yet. I survived the last year cause angie was around but now that she's gone..i'm not sure anymore. IT could just be my sense of ultra paranoia and pessimism but to say that i've a good good friend in ppktj might be totally bullshit. I'm not saying that it's their fault( and Kelly when u read this, don't jump to any conclusionns) It's just me probably.. too hooked up in my past. I still can't reallylet go of my friends.. don't think i ever will. Somehow, life in ppktj doesnt even half compare to life in lodge een though i had not much freedom..maybe that's why i like being back in Kuching..not many mmight understand it but beeing home feels like everything and I mean everything is gone..PPKTJ is like suddenly not there, my problems, my worries.It's like i go back and my life freezes!Again I'm here talking about a load of nonsensical rubbish, still ...
One worry that's still around though.. even now is my faltering faith..shit..i'm questioning things i haven't, sometimes i'm not sure why i'm doing this or that or what's His real purpose is..Faith alone has brought me this far but now..It's something i don't ever want to lose.. just like friends..
so, enough bullshit d?anyways, eric , i might be going down sg in may =) hope to see u soon.... and don't worry bout all this stuff i just said cos this feeling hs always been llingering inside me since God knows when....

Book review!! The Darkest Fear by Harlan Coben.Must read book..5 star rating

3 comments:

Kelly said...

Hey,i dun jump to conclusions tat easily k?anyhow,ur thoughts,echo some of mine..never really felt settled down too,seeing the sempais leave and its our turn next?!!??really freaks me out..hate it wen the hols ends..shit!sound so pathetic..

cl3m` said...

hahaha, is that so? :P why issit u can't settle down?

Kelly said...

thats because..i still feel new and unfamiliar with everything yet..shoots..now with everything in Jap..i can die