Thursday, March 31, 2005

Y do i always need to write a title?

I never knew people read my blog....haven't really thought much bout updating it but what the heck...urm.. so, what's been goin on in my life, you wonder?N-O-T-H-I-N-G! happy Easter by the way for all christians.
I've actually felt i've wasted my time over the last 2-3 weeks.Yes, it was fun and all but i feel kinda bad when everyone else is so busy working hard andstudyin and all..maybe it's was due to easter n good friday cause i allways geet moody around those times.Too much reflection i guess over what i've been doing over the last year...
In truth as hard as i refuse to admit it, i don't really think i've settled in ppktj yet. I survived the last year cause angie was around but now that she's gone..i'm not sure anymore. IT could just be my sense of ultra paranoia and pessimism but to say that i've a good good friend in ppktj might be totally bullshit. I'm not saying that it's their fault( and Kelly when u read this, don't jump to any conclusionns) It's just me probably.. too hooked up in my past. I still can't reallylet go of my friends.. don't think i ever will. Somehow, life in ppktj doesnt even half compare to life in lodge een though i had not much freedom..maybe that's why i like being back in Kuching..not many mmight understand it but beeing home feels like everything and I mean everything is gone..PPKTJ is like suddenly not there, my problems, my worries.It's like i go back and my life freezes!Again I'm here talking about a load of nonsensical rubbish, still ...
One worry that's still around though.. even now is my faltering faith..shit..i'm questioning things i haven't, sometimes i'm not sure why i'm doing this or that or what's His real purpose is..Faith alone has brought me this far but now..It's something i don't ever want to lose.. just like friends..
so, enough bullshit d?anyways, eric , i might be going down sg in may =) hope to see u soon.... and don't worry bout all this stuff i just said cos this feeling hs always been llingering inside me since God knows when....

Book review!! The Darkest Fear by Harlan Coben.Must read book..5 star rating

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Friendship

A poem of friendship..

A cactus,
In the yellow barren,
A cactus grows green,
Without much concern.
Our friendship too,
I hope will be so.

Even when the desert's
Mighty wind blows,
It still stands tall.
Our friendship as well,
I pray will endure
through any obstacle.

A cactus' carcass,
Tougher than steel.
Our bonds too,
May it to,
Be unbreakable.

It's ultimate act,
self sacrifice some might say,
To quench the thirst,
Of the ever always needy.
I can only hope,
That we trust
To do the same.

It's thorns,
So petit,
Yet so dangerous,
To only those ignorant.
Our faults,
Shouldn't be resolved with tact,
But with truthfulness
And sincerity.

A cactus' succulent,
Is like a bottomless pit,
Water it'll never run out.
Friends too have a pit,
Bottomless in heart,
Care love and spirit.
And that's what,
I hope,
We'll share.

Albeit,
A cactus does not,
come in twos.
Parting itself is envitable.
To not say 'hi',
is normalcy.

Yet,
For years to come,
Forget not,
the memories we share.
And here as always,
I'll be.

-clem-

This goes out to my friend, Angie.. may you have the best of times in Russia! i'll miss you but this'll only test how far our friendship'll go..shit.. i sound so pathetic:P to my seniors too.. enjoy japan n c u next yr!