Uniquely Sinapore,revisited 2005

Almost exactly 1 year,a year after i left singapore,a place where i've had some good times there!Even though it was onyl a short stay, this trip is one that i porbably won't forget for a while, for what was bad and what was good.I must say I've learnt quite a new few things even though I know the place pretty decently well.
So,let me start off with some of my worst decisions that i made in my entire life!!trust me, it was pretty dumb, stupid but probbably that's who i am. Well, on the friday embarking down on the trip, my first stop was JB. my mom wanted me to find auntie Mei Ling first as it would be even darker and later when i reached Singapore. My other option was taking a midnight train down and reaching there in the morning(which should have done!!)so, on that fateful friday, i bought a ticket, who's bus company i did not know...(MISTAKE 1) This was so as other companies had their times later. So, when i boarded the bus, i gave auntie Mei Ling a call to confirm with her about her picking me up later that night. To my horror, she FORGOT( i did confirm with her the week before:P) but i guess it's normal as people do forget stuff. However, if i knew this would happen i would have taken up option 2!!! but I've bought my tix d so wat to do.. so she asked her friend to pick me up.( very pai seh leh!!)
Now,s here the biggest mistake of my trip, being sleepy and hungry and the need to go to toilet!! And i assume to much anyway. So the bus was off down to JB, departing at 6.30 pm?3 hours later, we reached Yong Peng...I needed to pee then and i haven't eaten anything since 12??was damn hungry then..so i went down!!! to my horror,my horror!!! the BUSS was just dropping people off!!!SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i did ask the driver whether we were having a break and i thought he did say 'yes' but...................*dieded* so i'm left in yongpeng..around 200 km from JB..without one of my luggages. Luckily, i brought my knapsack down with me( my passport, mp3 player, cam, etc was inside!) But my chargers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Those were in my other bag....bleh...later, i'm going to tell you how much it costs... so how did i get fromYong Peng to JB?by CAB... guess how much it costs...???! 4000 YEN?? around there.. convert yourself.. and firgure it out..It's hard to talk about all this sad stuff.... argh.,.. makes me kinda angry and sad all over again...From this moment on it's going to be HAPPY HAPPY STUFF!!my happiest moments were in sing itself
So it's sat morning and i'm in sing! i've met up with aunt loretta, where i'm bunking in with.Her two sons are by far the most contrasting siblings i met. One's an engineer and one deals in finance and investment? 1 drinks wine while the other whisky.1 likes classical while the other more to heavy metal. etc and etc.. I met up with her in city hall mrt and had lunch at raffles place.Then I had to go shopping for clothes!! (Everything from shirts to underwears!)i did buy an East India pants for only 20Sg dollars..quite worth it. After that I went to Golden Mile Complex to get my bus ticket back.This TIME, i'm getting a trustworthy company:P Then then. when back to her place to have a rest and a BATH!!so time flies a while.. and his youngest son invites me to go with him to his office. By the way he works for GIC.. a gov related company which actually wields more investment power than Temasek ...scary.. The office was COOL!!! half the building was theirs.. 50+ stories in all.. the got a damn good pool table to play around and the gym is huge!!! Some more, drinks were free and snacks too!(he did say though having all this perks meant a lower paycheck..)After that... it's off to hunting down for my chargers.. and the obvious palce to go was Sim Lin Sq.! First stop was to get my cam charger.. being the easiet.. the shop sold it to me for 90Sg.. retail price. Could have been cheaper but i wasn't in the mood to bargain anymore...Next off was for my LG handpohone and my Creative mp3 player.. LG is a hard model to find so i wasnt surprised when i couldnt find any... but creative man..(it's a sg brand) .. they don't sell any accessories in the whole bloody complex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one salesman suggested i go to their hq all the way in JURONG but it's closed and won't be open until..TUESDAY! tough luck...That was around the evening d but i've yet to meet any of my friends.. WHY? cause they were all having COLLEGE DAY....so..the appointment was at about 6. I decided to drop by at the hostel, Oldham Hall(OH) and it was wierd going back in as a visitor...i finally met Ivan, Eric,Victor,Jason after a bloody year, while jonas and ben i see more often. Therest were having some AB camp walk kinda thingy...sucks eh?? Ben decided we go down orchard to play DOTA!!!haha.. so we did but guess wad.. the place was so packed that waiting time was probbably an hour!!Jonas, Eric and I had later plans to watch the FA cup final clash between Manchester United and Arsenal. It was at our usual place,Chjimes!Nice place for watching football.they brought a couple of juniors down too and one of them is an Arsenal fan too!(Last yr, i was the only one..VS the rest.. now atleast got a companion:P)match was only so so..Man U should have ended it when they had the chance but life's just unfair ain't it?Penalties were as exiting as ever and Lehman made a supoerb save!I had a great time without any alcohol involved(chjimes is a pub by the way). It was around 1 am when i reached back and after a hot shower i sat down to drink a lil water.I then had a good chat with aun't Loretta's older son, Alan. How old I'm not sure but he's an electrical engineering working as a lecturer at Notts Uni branch in Sing.He must be the most interesting guy i've met this trip down( someone whom i don't know). 1st thing he said was offering me a beer!It seemed pretty hard to turn him down so i had to have one. A choice between Asahi or Carlsberg, Having tried Carlsberg before, I decided to go for Asahi. It was smooth and was quite nice.(it costs 4 bucks a can.. what do you expect?)He then started taking out his bottle of cognac, was it? Can't really remember myself. He called that cheap whisky and invited me later for one too!!I was really curious how strong it was so i gellfully accepted.Damn, it was strong and this guy was just drinking it down like water. It was really nice with coke though. The coke covered all the stiffness while the whisky added this smoothness to it.really complements each other well. We had a long good chat for 3 hours?? Pretty long time for a guy chat eh? well, apparently his ex-girlfriend was a japanese and he's spent a couple of years there. That was enough content to last the night. What he said was like what other people say about japan. I must learn how to drink. Friends there are shallow?It's expensive and etc,etc...He even asked me to learn how to smoke, as a social advantage!He doesn't smoke by the way but according to him, this is an easy way to find friends:P Well, rest assured, I'll never smoke, hopefully. Drinking i can accept though.We talked mainly along this line and despite the age diference,I could ask him anything. Maybe it was his 'anything goes' attitude. This was a very direct guy and he'll say what he feels usually.It was all fun chatting up this late and at 4, Quill was showing! I was so tempted to watch but... considering i had onyl 2 hours of sleep the night before... I'd better turn to bed before i faint the following day!
A bit too long for one paragraph eh?So, I woke up at 8.30? I had to go back to hostel at around 10 am.It's around an hours ride away:P Up to then, what was I going to do I still wasn't that sure. all i know I was supposed to have breakfast then go shopping!Apparently the rest were still sleeping, so it was only di and I and Irene!! I forgot to even contact her. didn't even thought of doing so but it was ncie to see her again! We went to orchard and i bought my hp charger.. This time it was 70 sing!I'm going to tell you later on how i'll regret buying this charger. Anyways, it was afternoon already!U know what did means?STAR WARS!! hehe, ben bought tix for me at shaw. There were another bunch watching at the same time but at cathay. Kinda wierd right? Two gangs at different places.So, what did i think of it?It was as expected, it did reach a certain level.The beginning was a bit dull in it's fight scenes though. The fight betwwen Count Dooku and Obi Wann and Anakin was really bad..really bad. Acting was also before par, Natalie Portman and Hayden notably to blame.The one good actor was probably the Emperor himself. He showed how an evil and twisted guy should be like.Overall, the movie was not perfect but enjoyable. The plot at certain times even seemed forced on.by the way, the cineplex at Shaw was huge! Bigger than any i've seen in Malaysia here.After the movie, it was off to esplanade!! AJC's Rhapsody 2. The only thing i wanted to look out for was actually villia! (p.s: Eric,if you are reading this I don't like her:P Don't start a new rumour in OH.We're just good friends.)Rhapsody 2 is by the way a concert by my ex jc's band and chinese orchestra. They were both up to standard but the band did better this time than the last. Less notable flaws.CO was incredible except for that 20 min piece!!Don't you think that's too long??Note that at this time we've yet to eat anything since lunch and are dying of hunger now:P We wanted to go burger king but we ended up in McDs.Supposed to be at Raffles Place but got lost and ended up in Clark Quay.( So technically, we didn;t get lost) That was the end of day 2( at this point, i'm getting lazier and lazier to write:P)
Day 3 was a bit of a rush. My initial plan was just to spend it with Vilia but Di insisted on going breakfast.So after rescheduling, i've decided to meet vilia at 7 and the rest at 9. Alan called me crazy for going out so early in the morning and he probably was right.I couldnt make it back in time if i were to catch my bus at 12 so i brought everything along with me. Alan was the only awake then and he sent me off. His last piece of advice was probably disturbing to me.'Friends are there to be made use of but you must make sure that you're used too.'He went on to say that having a few friends is just enough. He's probably right. yet, I still think of all my friends as friends and.... Argh, don't know how to explain it.Maybe in another edition.So it was of to Bishan to met Vilia( For those who don't know her, she's my indon classmate and probably the only one i still keep in contact with besides the scholars) Jon called it a breakfast date but don't you think a date at 7am at McD's abit wierd???Nothing else was open at that time:PSo we just practically chatted and talked about our lives and so on.She's still the same as whe I left. Before we parted, we wanted to take a pic together but there wasn't a suitable place! Summore it didn't seem like anyone would help us take a pic, so we ended up using her hp to take one.Damn, i want that photo!It was kinda sad parting again and I dont think i'll see her for a while to come or maybe never.......Anyways, after to OH again! Breakfast for real this time and Jon had the idea of eating tim sum! He said that this shop in paragon(orchard) was really really good and he didn't disappoint.(Price didn't as well) 10 dumplings costs us 9 sing excluding tax and service charges n bla bla bla.i had 3 dumplings for around 10 sing and later pork noodles! It was really good , うまい!! the dunplings has 8 different layers and it was so delicate! Maybe it justified the price.....Now , here was a surprise for me..The bought a cake for me!!My birthday was the day after but they actually remembered:P Something I didn't expect actually.They bought a Mrs Field Brownie Cake. Was really sweet but damn good and filling.A nice conclusion to my trip eh? Would have been nice if it just ended there though.
After that, there isn;'t much to tell anymore. We parted and i left back for Malaysia except... remeember i said i regretted buying my handphone charger? Well, the moment i entered Malaysia, I realized my handphone was working properly!!Can't recieve any signals but apparent while roaming, i'm able too.Weird eh? If i knew this would happen, I would have bought a new phone right there n then in sing. After conversion, I could save almost 50 ringgit than if i bought one here. I'm trying to fix the phone now but if it costs too much,might as well get a new one eh?That night, it was off to Usui Sensei's place as it was her birthday!If i can add a link here, i'll be sure to add the pics, Anyways that's about it.I've l;earnt quite a bit from this trip and hopefully i wont be a dumbass to repeat what i've done.:P pics here http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeCOGjlu4ctWK2

watashino youtei!!!

next week i'm goin sing!! more update on it:) hhehe.. and KLIMS finally coming... n so are my KOHAI's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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bumper!haha.. brain dead with nth to write. wats so interesting bout my life anyway???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

.............%^&*#$@#$&*(&*&(&$$^.......

Ain't that nice for a title???Let's see.. started 2nd year of my course here in ppktj. What's it like??Well.............well.....well.........well....well. S-U-C-K-S? Actually, it ain't that bad. The worse thing so far is still japanese to me. My foundation and basics kind of bad i guess. That's why I need to brush up! I say i'll be studying more from now but how much, i really don't know. My grammar, my kanji..aiks.

So I started Math physics and chemistry in japanese. Now, i'm going to be trilungual in the science feild.It's quite tough. The whole system is kind of messy. Some in katakana, some in kanji,etc...Guess i'll just have to memorize like a machine:P Anyways, it's the first time in almost 6 months that i've paid attention during this classes. I still don't pay attention for english though.. too hard too put that effort into it unless got something interesting going on.

It's almost 2 weeks here and I've yet to watch a movie!!Kind of surprising eh?Hehehe, maybe cause Angie's gone, I'm lazy to find someone else. Well, there's kelly & gang (+ min ley only) hahaha but i'm kind of lazy of the moment.I should cut down anyway. Save money. Study more:P

New teachers!I forgot about that. I got Yoshida Sensei as my homeroom teacher. For those who don't know her, she's an old lady with a young lady's mind. Damn active. She's fun if you understand most of what she says!Then there's Ito, who's my physics. Even though, he speaks japanese, he's ten fold better than THAT PANDA EYES teacher i had in AJC. He got a Phd just to prove it. And he's memory might beat john Tnay:P remembering pi up to the 20digit is quite amazing!

Well, more to write but the laziness kicks in , so...

Z3n

hehehe..got it!My Creative Zen Micro.finally..but it burned a hole in my pocket..sigh.Have to budget from now on =( So, here's my impression of it. I must say it looks damn good and smaller than I imagined! sexier than the mini too.the vertical touch screen!People say it's kinda hard to use and they're probably right but with the right skill and technique, it's kinda easy. 1 day learning period only. Interface's great and comes with tonnes of features too, namely fm radio, calender(scheduler), clock,microphone,fm recorder and cusomtized eq.was it worth it?Yea, for 1 gb more than the mini and all the added features.I wanted white though but they didnt have the colour=( Any disappointments about my new toy?Yea,a few. The sound!Not really what i expected. Maybe cos I've not used an mp3 palyer for a while. but not as rich as i thought and the bass ain't that great even though it's supopsedly better than the mini.Next, there isnt a line out means everything's from the player.Kinda sucky.All in all, still say it's a good buy =) gonna go play with it now.

Y do i always need to write a title?

I never knew people read my blog....haven't really thought much bout updating it but what the heck...urm.. so, what's been goin on in my life, you wonder?N-O-T-H-I-N-G! happy Easter by the way for all christians.
I've actually felt i've wasted my time over the last 2-3 weeks.Yes, it was fun and all but i feel kinda bad when everyone else is so busy working hard andstudyin and all..maybe it's was due to easter n good friday cause i allways geet moody around those times.Too much reflection i guess over what i've been doing over the last year...
In truth as hard as i refuse to admit it, i don't really think i've settled in ppktj yet. I survived the last year cause angie was around but now that she's gone..i'm not sure anymore. IT could just be my sense of ultra paranoia and pessimism but to say that i've a good good friend in ppktj might be totally bullshit. I'm not saying that it's their fault( and Kelly when u read this, don't jump to any conclusionns) It's just me probably.. too hooked up in my past. I still can't reallylet go of my friends.. don't think i ever will. Somehow, life in ppktj doesnt even half compare to life in lodge een though i had not much freedom..maybe that's why i like being back in Kuching..not many mmight understand it but beeing home feels like everything and I mean everything is gone..PPKTJ is like suddenly not there, my problems, my worries.It's like i go back and my life freezes!Again I'm here talking about a load of nonsensical rubbish, still ...
One worry that's still around though.. even now is my faltering faith..shit..i'm questioning things i haven't, sometimes i'm not sure why i'm doing this or that or what's His real purpose is..Faith alone has brought me this far but now..It's something i don't ever want to lose.. just like friends..
so, enough bullshit d?anyways, eric , i might be going down sg in may =) hope to see u soon.... and don't worry bout all this stuff i just said cos this feeling hs always been llingering inside me since God knows when....

Book review!! The Darkest Fear by Harlan Coben.Must read book..5 star rating

Friendship

A poem of friendship..

A cactus,
In the yellow barren,
A cactus grows green,
Without much concern.
Our friendship too,
I hope will be so.

Even when the desert's
Mighty wind blows,
It still stands tall.
Our friendship as well,
I pray will endure
through any obstacle.

A cactus' carcass,
Tougher than steel.
Our bonds too,
May it to,
Be unbreakable.

It's ultimate act,
self sacrifice some might say,
To quench the thirst,
Of the ever always needy.
I can only hope,
That we trust
To do the same.

It's thorns,
So petit,
Yet so dangerous,
To only those ignorant.
Our faults,
Shouldn't be resolved with tact,
But with truthfulness
And sincerity.

A cactus' succulent,
Is like a bottomless pit,
Water it'll never run out.
Friends too have a pit,
Bottomless in heart,
Care love and spirit.
And that's what,
I hope,
We'll share.

Albeit,
A cactus does not,
come in twos.
Parting itself is envitable.
To not say 'hi',
is normalcy.

Yet,
For years to come,
Forget not,
the memories we share.
And here as always,
I'll be.

-clem-

This goes out to my friend, Angie.. may you have the best of times in Russia! i'll miss you but this'll only test how far our friendship'll go..shit.. i sound so pathetic:P to my seniors too.. enjoy japan n c u next yr!

The Principle of Equivalent trade

Full Metal Alchemist by Square Enix was nothing short of what i expected from the creators of
Final Fantasy. Intriguing plot, a meaningful theme , touching and all the comedy one might expect. The tales of two brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric, their love for each other and most importantly, their struggle through life.
A bit of the technical aspects first. Graphics were great especially when transmuting. Music too was nothing short of a Square production.That's about it!
Actually, the only thing that really took hold of me during the whole show was it's theme, ' The Principle of Equivalent Trade'. Is it possible to believe that to gain something, you must first lose something of equal value? At first glance, it does seem like total bullocks but when given thought, it does make a little sense.
Just look at your own life. There should be many examples to it. I mean you and i, we study hard to get good results. Due to our hardwork, we achieve good results. However, the results are only part of the end bargain. It's the process of working hard which builds your character that is the real trade here. That's why, even if you felt that hard work has been toiled, think not of the result but of the process through it. This is just only an example but do you think it's right? Even when you look at a relationship, it still applies don't it? Getting married will make one forfeit one's bachelor hood. If one breaks up in a relationship, all the post suffering would be somewhat equivalent to the happiness during it. Even in the Bible, the richer one becomes on Earth, the poorer he'll be in Heaven.
Then again, it's still crap. What am i saying actually?I really don't know. Maybe it's just cause that things like that are happening to me.Hopefully it doesn't apply for my exam though. Neither the time or will to go through it.Christmas spirit!Joy to the world,the Lord has come, may He blabalbla!
I've nothing much else to say...Guess that's it!

The Perfect Heist

This is the story of how to rob and get rich quick. Sure, it's no Ocean's 11 or the Italian Job but it gets the job done and its 90% full proof! How,u might wonder? It's simple actually. Pickpoketing in train stations in Malaysia!

1.Get a group of people, preferably 2 or 3. Make sure one is big sized and rugged enough while another is good at pickpoketing.

2.Avoid monorails and ktms. Monorails usually have security officers and Ktm and always jammed packed. Putra would be the best line for the heist.

3.Wait for peak hours, when the trains are usually packed with tonnes and tonnes of people until everyone is butt kissing each other.This makes the perfect opportunity for the big guy to push around while the other guy gets working by pickin through the pockets of a guy.

Note: the victim os almost defenceless as his hands are holding the rail and it's so packed that he can barely move.

4.Arrive at the next station. Before the door closes, head out. This way ,there's no time for the victim to catch up even if he realized it was gone..That means you get a new phone and maybe wallet and stuff!

Easy enough right?The chances of getting caught are low right?You know why i know all of this. That's caused i experienced it just 2 days ago!Apparently,it's very normal here in Malaysia(not just talking about KL and JB but other parts as well)What was a bit shocking to me was that those people are probably not Malaysians but immigrants. That's because after getting the phone, the made international calls( mine was to Brazil). So why are Malaysians so kind hearted enough to let them stay and let them rob the daylight out of us!?

I do have one suggestion though to lower this. Put security guards on the platforms in LRT stations. That way pickpoketers are more afraid to take action and the guards can control the traffic as well. To me, this simple step might acutally heavily reduce the occurance of such cases.

Really, the sign 'Beware of pickpoketers '.. does anyone think it bloody does any good?

Reunion of the Two??

This is the 2nd time i'm typing this, as the 1st one somehow got deleted.. sigh.. that's life aye? Anyway, here i am, going to talk about religion! I am a Catholic since the day I was born. Today's issue would be about Catholicism and Protestanism (I'm not sure where the Orthodox is categorised under.) Well, let me not bore with the history about how they separate and stuff,though i admit it was the Catholic's wrongdoing.

Just recently,last friday exactly, i went to a praise and worshipped session organised by Planet Shakers( a group from Aussie).Pictures for those who want to see are here (http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeCOGjlu4ctWIv) Back to the topic, it was all great and fun, the band was really really good! Radical as some may call it.. to some Catholics, conservative ones, it may considered heresy! cool bass solos and guitar solos, it was no surprised it attracted a couple of thousands of God's followers. That itself was a rare sight considering it was hard enough to get a place big enough as Sunway. The pastor was great too.. witty , charming and funny. Somehow though, i felt i was the only Catholic there, Angie you're excluded cause you've not been going to church for 18 years!That was a sad thing to see as i hoped that one day the two communites might be reunited.

That however, i feel, it's near a stage where it's almost impossible to happen!Why,I say? That's because, that night, I felt that even though we are Christians, we both have a different set of ideologies and fundamentals. Catholicism, since Paul build his church, has been one of the most conservative groups ever. Whether that is good or bad, that i cannot answer. That's because for every bad, there's a good and I do believe that everything the Church does, does have it's reason. That day, the pastor did talk about paul and cylus(not sure the exact spelling) being imprisoned for exorcising a demon. He talks on how they sang and 'partied' so that God could listen and free them.Yes, he did say they prayed but his interpretation was more like that they 'partied'. Ask a priest to tell you the same story, and he'll say that they fervently prayed in faith and silence to God for His divinty.Thus, it only does say that both camps does have different beliefs. None is right, none is wrong though, i say.

This however,i want to stress about the difference about the two camps( maybe the similarities, depends on how they see it.This is my opinion only after all.) That's about suffering. The Catholic Church has always stressed on the suffering of Jesus he gave for his people and that we celebrate mass not only to remember it but also to emulate it. This is why mass is so monotonous and dull but it does get's it's message across. Protestant churches I feel, however, stresses more on the fact of worshipping Jesus alone, not his deeds or attitude. They see him as a God, without seeing who He is. This is just a mere gut feeling though. The pastor said, ' Jesus one said,' See not the deeds i've done but for who i am.'.' However that itself is contradictory as it is Jesus' acts and deeds that made Him for who He is then,now and till He comes again.

Really want to cut this short now.. Haven't had much time and been wanting to write my next edition already. However, one last point! That's about donations and charity! Really, that day, the way they used a parable from the Bible to up donations kind of upsetted me a little. To me, donations were always of a voluntary basis, and no matter how much it is, it's still good! I'm not saying that the Catholic Church does not do that but I've yet to see a similar thing.

Anyway,all in all, even though I've been hitting the Protestants almost throughout this , I do want a reunion of the two communities. Both aren't at fault and we shouldn't be like other religions that have split as well!God Bless every soul on Earth:)

Other updates on my life... This happened like long long agoooooo!!!PPKTJ had a sports gathering!I actually played sumo!!!Not bad eh?But lost like shit. Softball was fun though. Pics click here- http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeCOGjlu4ctWIc

Urm..The Story Of a GirL

This is the story of a girl...liked that song lots:) Anyways, This is the story of girl i met on coming to ppktj. I really do hope she won't be reading this(hazukashii) but i don't think i'm going to talk anything bad about her.
Truthfully, I think of her of her as a nice and friendly person up to this day, and my relationship with her can be compared to that of one of my friend's experience.While my friend called herself bitchy for using that guy, I really can't help but to feel that i was used too. However, I did accept the fact of what was happening and got myself into such a mess.Do I regret it now?I'm not so sure..Sad as it is now..Happy it was then..Guess u win some lose some..The karma law..
When does a relationship become strained?That i wonder. Relationship in this context doesn't mean bf/gf thingy but more as a general case between to persons.See, I have always been the type to want to talk alot but sometimes i felt that i was forcing it as well. Nothing of me comes in moderation, even up to this day, i can barely talk normally with her. Just the regular smile and the occassional smile. What started off as talking for a substantial bit for a few months is now dwindling to almost nothing. Maybe that's what i'm most depressed at. Even though my feelings for her were not what they used to be,still i hoped we could always remain close companions. Then again the word 'close' is always up for debate. It might be for her,not for me, i don't know. Maybe for her, replying msges are not so important but i usually take extra effort to reply no matter to who.
However, as much as i think this is her doing,so is it mine. Hers was the fact that things are going on better in her life now than it was then.Ignorance is bliss ain't it? It was mine for hoping too much, for being such a shy person(applies for certain cases). Maybe it was just never meant to be. Usually how a relationship takes off will affect the way i communicate with them in the future. The fact that we hardly talked in reality was a setback. Back to hope,Raistlin(Dragonlance series book) used to say 'Hope is the denial of reality' and i believe his words are very true but not to have hope is living a miserable life.. just like him.. As great as i liked him, i definitely do not want to end up like him,demented,cruel but awesomely cool.
Seems that i'm digressing from the main point, the story of this girl. Having different set of friends also seemed like a major obstacle. It's hard when i'm with her group of friends, i just get tongue tied. Even though it seems that she's getting closer to my group of friends and i to some of hers,still nothing has changed. Sometimes, we're almost like strangers but maybe i'm just being biased for hoping too much again.
I might as well take the opportunity to discuss on being a chinese educated and a banana like me. There is that communicative barrier.. she i feel prefering to speak in mandrin while i definitely speak English. But the sets of cultures each education system is brought up affects our mind sets and that really is another stumbling block. Her being the more conservative , diligent type while i shy as i am,open i am too and pure laziness.:P Doesnt seem to bear any consequences on a relationship between two people but somehow it does. It's something that i am yet able to explain.I once wrote her something and i doubt that she understood much of what i said.For once, i felt that tense in writing was important, in this case being the future tense, of things i hoped to become, not what that was.
Anyways, this is just my opinion of things as i never did get her view. One thing i did like about her was that she was quite open in telling things, making it easier to understand and not always guess. Doesn't seem to be that way now. Acquantainces we are now.. something i have always dreaded so. If you do read this, i hope no offence is taken in anyway. I'll still be here as always. Maybe one day things will change but distant is seems so that i can't see it anytime soon. I thought that her leaving soon might do me good.. it's like phasing out another part of my life but that's just quite cowardly...
That's it for now anyways.No one is to be blamed for anything.. life is just life.

Friends..past present n what to be

wat actually happened to me for the past few days?was actually quite euphoric...didnt feel like i was in reality.. maybe that's cos ppktj is reality and that really just sucks eh?hrMm.. i actually stayed at ben's place after my road trip..his parents are actually very pleasant n it's cool to see how business like people run their lives.It also gave me my 1st experience on an S-class...bloody hell..one experience i wont forget... ben is still the same person i havent seen since june or so.. the mugger n tuition type...but that's because he's studying in sing n i can't blame him. enjoyed his company for the last couple of days n sad to say that i hafta wake up from my dream n go back to reality tomorrow..sighs..

anyways,yesterday i went out for dinner with my old friends, angie, jane n alai.. was actually wonderin how they were as i havent seen jane n alai for quite a while. Seemed kinda awkward.. thought they might have changed.. However,it was a pleasant surprise that they were all still the same. Jane speaking at the top of her voice..heng huas.. that's the word! was actually pleasant to hear that word... seemed to foreign already considered it was one of the most frequently used word last yr..with the exception of cheap joke..btw,i heard the lodge phrase 'cheap joke' has infected russia because of joyoki, thts the way man! anyways,we went to eat fish head in taipan n it wasnt all too bad..good meal!hehe..dunno when i'll be seein them again though.. sunway n subang is just too far!

today..was boring..till evening to say the least..met some more asean people..choii syn,alex n pei xin(ex). was fun!went to mid valley..n watched shark tale..talked bout old times n seems no one has changed much.. apparently they have an altar of me in sing ..of all my unwanted rubbish which includes a pillow, my star hub bottle,etc..

oh yea,over this past few days.. i was actually a part time baby sitter.. of two 4 yr old twins.. an interestin pair! one had chicken pox.. but both were joyful n happy..neither seemed sick at all.. it's actually quite hard takin care of them unless they;re sleepin. or not they'll be like climbing all over u! i never had a younger sibling so i wouldnt know tht much.It was fun to say the least... they still seem to be innocent of the real word n it was cool to see tht. btw,one of them actually spoke better eng than msot ppl at ppktj..serrious..

all in all..over this last few days did teach me something.... nothin has changed, every1 has moved on though maybe except me... i dunno,maybe i'm just scared of losing friends...drifting apart all together.. real sad case.. it'll happen one day though but i hope i dont want to see that day.. i dont think i can bear it at all.. somehow, i must move on to get over this misery and emptiness of mine but i cant seem to bear myself to do it!how? i've yet to find an answer...sighs...

friends....just how important are they to me?

no.1

wo hoo my 1st blog... really no more life already. Not sure how well mine is going to be but actually i'm startin this as a challenge to my friend not to write a boring one.

hrmm... what the bloody hell am i supposed to write anyway? Life is full of shit or life is wonderful that you're going to puke.It's almost always about these 2 scenarios anyway.

Let's start with the life is wonderful setting. Last wed, a group of friends from ppktj n i went to ipoh-kedah-penang-kedah. Road trip but missing all d girls!okla,must give credit to ipoh n penang. Living up to their reputation as a land of hot chicks but really, the food was even better!!!! day after day,gobbling down food is an unhealthy lifestyle but in such places with good food, no wonder asians are getting obese!in ipoh,there was the hor fun but the tauge chicken must be singled out for praise.. really really good and the pork balls that came with it which was so sumptous!ok...should stop talkin about food as i'm getting hungrier but you get the point.:)

girls..food..oh..all of us did meet the most 'beautiful' woman in ipoh tho..ppktj students should know who.. the 1 and only low sensei!haha..she's actually nicer outside school. Feel that she's just fierce and bitchy in school as a counterbalance to the other teachers. A must need ingredient to a good school. anyways, she treated us to summore good food..cakes n movenpick ice cream! my first experience!damn good to saythe least and i must thank herfor the wonderful dessert.

hrm..besides those two things, the architecture is sth of interest. Temples built in caves, penang hill n it's interestin cable train, penang bridge! n of coz bukit hijau...actually includeslandscape as well:D This was the 1st time i saw the magnificient bridge or so tht i can remember.. Really a sight. n the waterfalls in bukit hijau were awesome even if a little dangerous.

ohh...thts bout it i would actually like to say bout the trip .. the buses!haha.. malaysian coaches.. late..crazy... n definitely dangerous! fucking freaking dangerous.. ride at your own discresion. For pics, http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeCOGjlu4ctWHC